Sex on demand is a bad notion that has been around for a long time, but it doesn't conform with the nature of the human being, equipped with intellect, reason, and will, unlike other created beings. The effects of sex on demand, even within the married state are not all that much different from sex on demand without marriage in that its practice results in abuse of women and children and disorder and dysfunction in families. Even in marriage, sex on demand demeans both man the woman, is the result of in immaturity and dodging of responsibilities, and it negatively impacts the family as a whole.
In the past fifty or so years, contraception has enabled elevation of the notion of sex on demand. Upwards of ninety percent of all married couples practice or have practiced contraception, and far from making better the vitality of marriage and the family, statistics prove that marriage is faltering, with almost half of all couples not even bothering to marry nowadays. Even without contraception, sex on demand in marriage isn't a good idea, as its practice could result in not being able to properly care for children of the union. Sex on demand can take its toll on the physical, emotional, and economic resources of either spouse, but especially the mother.
If contraception is a means to sex on demand, a woman silently aborts unknown numbers of children month to month by use of Pill or IUD or other contraceptive devices. Unknown to her consciously but still known through her intuitive subconscious nature, the woman may have one of two main reactions: lack of ability to receive and bond with living children; or, over-bonding with living children. Interestingly, these reactions are very similar to those identified by women who have sought procured surgical abortion.
Additionally, if a woman uses hormonal contraception, ironically, her libido can be seriously altered, while her husband's isn't. This can cause friction in the relationship that is beyond merely an exercise of the will because it is something induced chemically, artificially, into an otherwise good human sexual relationship. Fighting and discord can result, instead of the promised increased sexual pleasure. Husband complains of wife's lack of interest. Wife further withdraws by re-focusing her energies in her career or she hyper-focuses on living children by over identifying, over-indulging and over-protecting them, often excluding the father from parent and child bonding.
If family income is increased through Mom's career advancement, out of guilt, children are supplied with increasing material comforts (tv's in each child's bedroom, smart phones, i-pods, designer clothing, and all the rest), but they are left lonely and abandoned by parents doing their own thing. Dad may withdraw from the family unit by spending time away from home or on computer games, which all too often end up in addiction to the games themselves or worse, to pornography through the Internet. He is seldom sought out for advice on how to rear the children, and he barely knows them, other than in the context of how they perform on the playing field. He contributes next to nothing to their moral development because he is engaging in immoral behavior himself, due to the couple's initial decision to contracept.
Consider also the obsessive participation in all manner of extra-curricular sports, dance, clubs, etc. etc, robbing the family of home life that nurtures family life. One parent supports Johnny's activities and schedules and the other parent keeps up with Suzy's, all in the name of being a good mom or dad, tiring everyone out in the process and teaching the kiddos little to nothing about give-and-take relationships required for wholesome familial bonds. Little wonder that the two-child family is the limit!
Even non-contracepting couples, who are open to welcoming more than two children, can be indirectly adversely affected by contraception. They are a constant eyesore to those who have chosen contraception, and contracepting couples are compelled to defend their choice. Couples with more than three children become the targets of endless smirks or insults about their intimate life, for example. They may withdraw from society for lack of ability to maintain material status. Or, they may also buckle to the pressure to compete socially through overwork that is unhealthy and not in the best interest of the father, marital friendship, or the family in general. Husband-wife relations may be strained because the parents do suffer from seeing their children left out by their peers. Wife may be tempted, especially, to pressure husband to earn more than he is equipped to earn and to yet to be involved with the children's activities, too, when she sees her children suffer emotionally and socially.
Conjugal or marital privilege is not a game for children. It demands maturity, prayer, and self-sacrifice. Humanae Vitae provides for reasonable consideration of personal resources when it advises that postponing conception through self-sacrifice, even indefinitely, may be necessary, either temporarily or even indefinitely. Neither the husband nor the wife should be tapped beyond their personal abilities to receive children with deep love and responsibility. Pope John Paul II especially urged that a man should treat his spouse with the same respect he would want someone to have towards any beloved sister in Christ. His natural desire for sexual relations must still be guided by the virtue of chastity, carefully cultivated through humility, perseverance, the grace of the sacraments of reconciliation and Eucharist. Virtue, not contraception, is the means to the right end.
Sex on demand, even within the married state, is a lie, a false idea. Until our society accepts the idea that men are to share responsibility for fertility through genuine sacrificial love and mutual respect for women, we as a people will be enslaved by contraception and its tragic impact. As Mother Teresa once pointed out, there is a form of poverty that affluent countries experience that outstrips the damaging effect of the material poverty we normally think of when we think of poverty.The poorest of the poor can be within the richest of neighborhoods. Humanae Vitae provides the remedy.
In the past fifty or so years, contraception has enabled elevation of the notion of sex on demand. Upwards of ninety percent of all married couples practice or have practiced contraception, and far from making better the vitality of marriage and the family, statistics prove that marriage is faltering, with almost half of all couples not even bothering to marry nowadays. Even without contraception, sex on demand in marriage isn't a good idea, as its practice could result in not being able to properly care for children of the union. Sex on demand can take its toll on the physical, emotional, and economic resources of either spouse, but especially the mother.
If contraception is a means to sex on demand, a woman silently aborts unknown numbers of children month to month by use of Pill or IUD or other contraceptive devices. Unknown to her consciously but still known through her intuitive subconscious nature, the woman may have one of two main reactions: lack of ability to receive and bond with living children; or, over-bonding with living children. Interestingly, these reactions are very similar to those identified by women who have sought procured surgical abortion.
Additionally, if a woman uses hormonal contraception, ironically, her libido can be seriously altered, while her husband's isn't. This can cause friction in the relationship that is beyond merely an exercise of the will because it is something induced chemically, artificially, into an otherwise good human sexual relationship. Fighting and discord can result, instead of the promised increased sexual pleasure. Husband complains of wife's lack of interest. Wife further withdraws by re-focusing her energies in her career or she hyper-focuses on living children by over identifying, over-indulging and over-protecting them, often excluding the father from parent and child bonding.
If family income is increased through Mom's career advancement, out of guilt, children are supplied with increasing material comforts (tv's in each child's bedroom, smart phones, i-pods, designer clothing, and all the rest), but they are left lonely and abandoned by parents doing their own thing. Dad may withdraw from the family unit by spending time away from home or on computer games, which all too often end up in addiction to the games themselves or worse, to pornography through the Internet. He is seldom sought out for advice on how to rear the children, and he barely knows them, other than in the context of how they perform on the playing field. He contributes next to nothing to their moral development because he is engaging in immoral behavior himself, due to the couple's initial decision to contracept.
Consider also the obsessive participation in all manner of extra-curricular sports, dance, clubs, etc. etc, robbing the family of home life that nurtures family life. One parent supports Johnny's activities and schedules and the other parent keeps up with Suzy's, all in the name of being a good mom or dad, tiring everyone out in the process and teaching the kiddos little to nothing about give-and-take relationships required for wholesome familial bonds. Little wonder that the two-child family is the limit!
Even non-contracepting couples, who are open to welcoming more than two children, can be indirectly adversely affected by contraception. They are a constant eyesore to those who have chosen contraception, and contracepting couples are compelled to defend their choice. Couples with more than three children become the targets of endless smirks or insults about their intimate life, for example. They may withdraw from society for lack of ability to maintain material status. Or, they may also buckle to the pressure to compete socially through overwork that is unhealthy and not in the best interest of the father, marital friendship, or the family in general. Husband-wife relations may be strained because the parents do suffer from seeing their children left out by their peers. Wife may be tempted, especially, to pressure husband to earn more than he is equipped to earn and to yet to be involved with the children's activities, too, when she sees her children suffer emotionally and socially.
Conjugal or marital privilege is not a game for children. It demands maturity, prayer, and self-sacrifice. Humanae Vitae provides for reasonable consideration of personal resources when it advises that postponing conception through self-sacrifice, even indefinitely, may be necessary, either temporarily or even indefinitely. Neither the husband nor the wife should be tapped beyond their personal abilities to receive children with deep love and responsibility. Pope John Paul II especially urged that a man should treat his spouse with the same respect he would want someone to have towards any beloved sister in Christ. His natural desire for sexual relations must still be guided by the virtue of chastity, carefully cultivated through humility, perseverance, the grace of the sacraments of reconciliation and Eucharist. Virtue, not contraception, is the means to the right end.
Sex on demand, even within the married state, is a lie, a false idea. Until our society accepts the idea that men are to share responsibility for fertility through genuine sacrificial love and mutual respect for women, we as a people will be enslaved by contraception and its tragic impact. As Mother Teresa once pointed out, there is a form of poverty that affluent countries experience that outstrips the damaging effect of the material poverty we normally think of when we think of poverty.The poorest of the poor can be within the richest of neighborhoods. Humanae Vitae provides the remedy.
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